A Handful of Tights, A Smackdown Recap for May 19, 2016

This week’s Smackdown interview was decent.  It was filled with a lot of little moments that I really liked.  Let’s get right to it.  Oh, and this is coming to us from somewhere in South Carolina.

Rusev’s Backstage Interview

Renee is Backstage with Rusev and Lana.  First, we show a clip from Monday showing Rusev destroying Kalisto after a brutal Backstabber from Del Rio.  Rusev’s smile is priceless.  You’ve got to watch it yourself:

“I turned a Mexican churro into a pretzel.” 

This is the Rusev I love.  Combine this with him threatening to eat Kalisto’s heart and they’ve finally made me want to watch a Kalisto US Title match.  I feel like there’s no way that Rusev doesn’t walk away with that title.  Kalisto hasn’t done much with the belt.  I think that’s fine.  He’s young.  He just needs to work on his presence more.  I think a couple of years down the line, he’ll be the star that WWE wants him to be.

Maryse and Zayn arguing on commentary in French

In the latest chapter in the saga of the IC title, we have Owens Vs. Cesaro with Miz, Maryse, and Zayn on commentary.  First, Miz has a great presence anytime he touches a microphone.  I didn’t even realize that Zayn was there at first.  It wasn’t until a little exchange where they argued in French that I really paid attention.  It was a great little moment.  I really love that the 3 contenders for the title speak French fluently.  Miz speaks a little as well.  It really makes it feel intercontinental, even if most of those guys are from North America.

Moments from the actual match:

• Cesaro did a weird tight rope walk on the 2nd rope and delivered an elbow drop to Owens.  I can’t recall seeing something like that before.
• Everytime Cesaro had Kevin Owens up in the air, KO was screaming like he was being murdered.  He’s playing for the back of the arena.  I love it.
• Mauro again with the “Ain’t no party like an uppercut party…” line.  I have a feeling he’s king of the Dad jokes.
• KO gets a roll up for the win with a handful of tights.  A roll-up is the most devastating move in sports entertainment, unless you try to do it on Roman.

“Call Me Becky Balboa”

Paige Vs. Dana Brooke (Becky Lynch on commentary)

It’s no secret that I love Becky Lynch.  I have her theme song as my alarm every morning.  I’d own her shirts if I wasn’t uncomfortable with a shirt that says “Lass Kicker.”  So it’s no surprise that I love her on commentary.  She spent the entire time railing on Flex, Dana, Flex.

“What is she saying?  She’s making a sound only dogs can hear.”

The Becky Balboa line is in reference to how resilient she is.  I also loved how she brought up that she frequently wrestled Paige’s mom before landing in NXT.

The match itself wasn’t a great showing from Dana.  She’s definitely done better.  Seeing Paige in the ring more frequently lately makes me uncomfortable that they’re not pushing her at all.  She effective jobbed to Dana to make her look strong.  This is the first of two really sloppy endings to matches from two recent NXT call-ups (Spolier alert:  the other is Big Cass finishing off Bubba Ray).

Asylum Match Y2J Promo

This was bizarre and I loved it.  Y2J spent about 5 minutes talking about how much bigger of a lunatic he was while the Asylum Cage lowered.  Ambrose, disguised as a crew member with a ridiculous fake beard, appeared to be working on the cage while Jericho continued his rant.

I loved all of this ridiculousness.  It’s amazing that neither have been in any kind of match since Payback.  It’s refreshing, really.  This feud has been entirely on the microphone.

New…Day Dance

It wouldn’t be Smackdown without some kind of 6 or 8 man tag match.  Tonight was no different but it did give us a moment of gold.  Just like they used to rock out during Rollins’ theme, The New Day got hyped and danced for Cass.

When the beat drops…..

The actual match versus the Vaudevillians and Dudleys was fine.  New Day kept Cass on the apron for the hot tag.  He eventually finished off Bubba with a sloppy East River Crossing for the win.  I actually thought Bubba might be hurt.  It didn’t look good at all.

Other Stuff

• Gallows Vs. Roman
  This has become boring to me because it’s basically guaranteed that any match involving The Bloodline or the Club is going to end in DQ, most likely with Roman getting the last blow.  There were a couple interesting moments:
  • Gallows hits a monster lariat on Roman.  Almost knocked his head clean off.
  • I may have soured on these matches but the boot of doom to Roman still excites me.
  • Of course, AJ, Anderson, and the Usos come out and all hell breaks lose.  SD simply ends with Roman and AJ rolling over the announce table.
• Sheamus Vs. Ziggler
  • I love seeing Sheamus’s old pre-League of Nations entrance again.
  • A particularly viscious looking Irish Curse Backbreaker.  No one sells moves like Ziggler.
  • Great Superkick for the win.  I loved how Ziggy just collapsed onto him.
  • I didn’t love the lackluster Corbin “I’m going to hurt you” promo after the end of the match.
  • I’m worried that Sheamus is about to get lost in the shuffle with all the returns and call-ups.  Then again, I don’t recall the last time I’ve seen Apollo Crews.
• Another “Make Darren Young Great Again” promo. I’m not liking these at all.  I love seeing Bob Backlund on TV, but these are just bad.  Why is this split screen?
• Weird Baron Corbin/Golden Corral commercial.  Just…what?