Double Down – A Smackdown Recap

So Jeremy had a prior engagement this evening, so I’m pulling double duty, or to shamelessly plug one more time, a double down.

Summerslam 2016 is brought to you by Kentucky Fried Chicken….do they still use the whole name or are they just KFC now?

Smackdown is live this week from Bakersfield, California.

The Eater of Worlds and his Dwindling Flock

I still thoroughly enjoy Bray Wyatt’s ability to string together these promos, because in spite of how insane they sound, they all make sense.  Now it’s Wyatt against the world, apparently, even though there is a giant “swamp goon” (credit Ambrose) standing right behind him.  Ambrose comes out to confront him, but rather than Ambrose running right in, Ziggler comes flying from the back and slides into the ring to take on both Wyatt members.

So let me see if I can actually recap what just happened because it moved really quickly.  Rowan was down and Wyatt went for Sister Abigail on Ambrose, but when Ziggler went for a super kick, Wyatt pulled Ambrose up in the way.  Then Rowan ate a super kick and Ziggler was quickly hit with Sister Abigail.  Whew, that was exhausting.

And now that we’re going to commercial:

And we’re back with the confrontation between Ambrose and Ziggler, but its broken up by the GM and Commissioner who schedule a match between the pair and the two remaining blue brand Wyatts later tonight.

The Alpha Males in the House

So American Alpha is out for a match against some jobbers, basically the tag team version of a Braun Strowman match, but now pretty much every tag team on the Smackdown brand is surrounding the ring like a lumberjack match, but that means MOJO IS IN THE HOUSE!!!!!

American Alpha pick up a quick win, but the remaining three teams (which also includes The Ascension and The Vaudevillians) jump in the ring quickly in an attempt to establish the top team on Smackdown.  Alpha still stands tall with the remaining teams tossed to the outside and now looking on.

A Lengthy Video Package for the Jackedrobat, Apollo Crews

Well made, but we come back from the video presentation to Miz and that weird Canadian wife of his laying on the table for the Smackdown Live show, and they get all weird with Renee Young standing there trying to do an interview.

I want to say it went somewhere, or that the Apollo Crews video was to indicate he was going to do something, but I was mistaken because now we’ve got women’s action with Becky Lynch against Eva Marie…..maybe.  Or not.  Now she’s healthy but she has a wardrobe malfunction and the straps on her top burst and nearly expose the puppies.  Yes, if you’re going to take away my Jerry Lawler, I’m going to step up.  Attitude Era.

Becky isn’t having this crap, and calls out any woman in the back to “come at me bro”.  So Alexa Bliss accepts the challenge and attempts to make her in ring Smackdown debut against the Blue Brand’s first female draft pick.

Alexa looks good in the match, but once Becky turns the tide, Eva Marie comes back out and distracts Lynch for Alexa to collect the win after a bad ass top rope move.

The new Smackdown graphics are pretty bad ass.  Definitely better than Raw, but Raw got the infinitely better opening song.  The Smackdown song is terrible.

The Viper vs The Pec Flex, cabron

The goal here is to make Randy Orton look good, so unless you randomly get another Brock Lesnar appearance, you pretty well know how this one is going to end.  A match here of former WWE World Heavyweight Champions, but also a match between two guys that can put on one hell of a match when they so feel compelled.  The problem with both of them is that they are both so good, and know they are so good, at what they do that they often times phone it in when their hearts aren’t in the story or the direction their being used in.

Sorry, commercial break.  We’re back and Del Rio has taken the upper hand here.  Del Rio, while we’re on the subject, is also kind of questionable going forward.  Apparently he’s just disgruntled but it’s also causing problems with company brass that he’s dating Paige who is significantly younger, leading them to be drafted to opposite brands.  If they’d find a way to make him happy, he could solve that shareholder concern that they don’t have as many draws for the Latino audience (though from what I can tell from being in a number of arenas in a number of different markets the absolutely love Roman Reigns) but the Latino audience is apparently one of their largest growing markets as well as biggest opportunities for growth.

I’ve truly missed Randy Orton.  There was so much of his time in the main event picture that I wasn’t watching the program, but he’s great.  That DDT from the ropes is awesome, and the RKO is fantastic, especially when you don’t see it coming at all.

Del Rio decides he doesn’t want to have a real match anymore and grabs a chair.  He’s truly committed to the idea of breaking Randy’s arm.  But guess what you’re getting:

Let’s see that #RKOOuttaNowhere again!! @RandyOrton#SDLivepic.twitter.com/P3zg10K2vs

— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) August 10, 2016

Heath Slater may be my new Favorite Character

I’m going to bring it back.  #HitSlatersMusic.

Slater is in the background begging Rhyno to let him win for his kids because he just had an above ground pool installed.

This character on the outskirts of either brand is my favorite thing.  It’s so much funnier than the Social Outcasts, which seemed like a better chance of getting Bo Dallas over than Heath Slater.

Also, Rhyno won his primary election last week in Michigan.  Congratulations to Rhyno (real name Terrance Gerin).

So Slater needs to win the match against Rhyno to get a contract.  I’m a little surprised that Rhyno is right back up to the main roster as he just showed back in NXT a few weeks back.  But Slater eats a spear and Heath Slater is still a free agent.

Heath Slater charges into the back where Shane and Daniel Bryan have a contract for him, but doesn’t give them the time to explain that they are going to sign him.

Fabulous-YES!  Bada Bing, Hottest Chick in the Ring, How You Doin?

Carmella comes out to take on Natalya, but she’s ready for the attack on the entrance ramp this week.  Nattie’s heel character isn’t terribly enjoyable, but I think it’s because she just doesn’t look like she could be this big of an asshole.

If there is one thing I can say about Natalya, she definitely learned a ton from the family.  She’s a talented wrestler, not just in the women’s division, but it’s not enough tonight, as Carmella locks in the head scissors submission and gets the tap out on the Queen of Harts.  You deserve it.

John Cena cut an amazing promo last week, so lets show the whole thing again

Baron Corbin just beat the hell out Kalisto in the back

Ziggler and Ambrose vs Wyatt and Rowan

As is expected, because it’s how pretty much every Ambrose and Ziggler match starts, the two faces get mauled by the Wyatts to kick off this one.

I don’t think Bray Wyatt has bathed since The New Day came to the compound.  I don’t think Erick Rowan has bathed since 1996.

This is a battle of the scrappy fighters and the swamp monsters.  In true Wyatt family fashion, they are scripted to play the role in the match, dishing out quite a bit of punishment to their opponents.  There’s something off in this match, the timing just isn’t right and I know Ambrose and Wyatt should be pretty damn good in the ring together by now considering how many times they’ve battled in the squared circle.  Bray put plenty of hurt on Ambrose, and Rowan did the majority of the Ziggler beating, but in the end, Ziggler saved the match with a quick super kick on Rowan while Ambrose had Bray on the outside.  Ziggler was very respectful after the match, congratulating his teammate, only to receive a Dirty Deeds to the Yes! chants of the Bakersfield crowd.

And now Smackdown is over, so enjoy tonight’s repeat of Chrisley Knows Best.