Cleveland Rocks (only to people from Cleveland) – Smackdown Recap 9/27/2016

Smackdown Live, September 27, 2016, from Quicken Loans Arena, which is a pretty telling name for an Arena in Cleveland.

Bray Wyatt is the Face of Fear, but he’s also Afraid

So obviously that isn’t an image from tonight, as CM Punk hasn’t been with WWE for a while now and you can see that it was from Wrestlemania in the background.

Randy Orton opened the show, which is odd, because Randy Orton isn’t much of a talker so much as a randomly attacking Viper, striking outta nowhere.  And yes, I’m a Randy Orton mark.  Randy explained the fear that cripples Bray Wyatt, rendering him unable to fight like a man without the mind games and the sneak attacks.  So rest assured, Bray Wyatt is sitting in the boiler room but they have been kind enough not to overload the room with fake smoke after that first time.

Bray explains that he’s left bread crumbs around the arena for Randy, but that time waits for no man.  As Randy searches for Bray, he’s shown being stalked by Erick Rowan, because they’re still paying Erick Rowan so they might as well find a reason to keep showing him on TV.  They couldn’t just draft an injured Luke Harper so that Bray actually had the most talented member of the Family keeping him over with the audiences.

This would carry on throughout the show, until Bray is cutting one last promo from the boiler room about his disappointment, when Randy Orton stands up behind him in a sheep mask.  After running Bray off, Orton would sit down and put the mask back on, sitting on Bray’s stool and singing “He’s Got The Whole World in His Hands” while the camera gets all closing segment of a Saw movie.  It was weird.  But hopefully we’ll keep Randy healthy through next Sunday so we can finally get this match.

And tonight, you will go one on one with the Undertaka

Not really, but we do get the Teddy Long special, an 8 man tag match pitting The Usos and Ascension against American Alpha and the Tag Champs.

When I say Rhy, you say No.  Rhy…no 🙁

As the Usos are geared up for another title shot they don’t necessarily deserve at No Mercy, you had to expect they were going to get the win tonight, and they did, after pulling the kick to the inside of the knee on Heath Slater, then the half Boston Crab for the submission victory.  Don’t hurt his leg, he just got the pool installed.  Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to have to wrap a cast so you can get in the pool?  And that’s on your arm.  It would be a real pain to use his above ground pool with a full leg cast.  Just inconsiderate.  I guess you can’t hurt the human gore machine/refrigerator sized human, and what’s the point in hurting either of the Alphas right now?

Lots of Dave and Busters ads during this Smackdown.  I don’t know that I recall that being the case ever before, but it definitely makes sense.  Now I want that Spinach Dip and about an hour and a half to play that Kung Fu Panda Dumpling game.

More Tag Team Action in the Women’s Division

Last week, we should have seen Naomi and Nikki Bella take on Carmella and the Queen of Harts, Natalya.  I don’t know why I chose to go big with the Natalya intro there, it just came out.  I like her in this sort of role, which is to say I like that she’s not just randomly getting title shots for no reason.

And yes, you do get a pretty boss ass Naomi entrance.  Not quite as stellar as last week, but still awesome.

Great commitment by @NaomiWWE on that entrance. Respect. #SDLive

— Sami Zayn (@iLikeSamiZayn) September 21, 2016

This was a pretty good match, and at one point Natalya delivered a Michinoku Driver on Naomi on the outside.  That looked damn insane.

Carmella picks up the win over Nikki, as predicted.  I’d imagine you get this tag match or just a Nikki-Carmella singles match at No Mercy.  I’m good either way, but I do hope that Naomi does get to play some sort of role at the PPV because I’ve grown quite fond of her.

The Miz is the Only Real Hero of the City of Cleveland

Miz did his Miz thing, following a recap of his career from Real World to WWE Superstar and numerous Title Holder, including his now almost 200 day reign as the Intercontinental Champion.

He pointed out that his parents were front row, and then he pointed out that Ziggler’s parents were as well, and he shit talked the dude’s parents, asking how disappointed they were to have an elite level loser as a son.  So Ziggler came out, and of course Miz refuses to put the belt up or fight him at all, but on his way up the ramp, Ziggler launched into one of his now trademark emotional speeches about how much it means to him, and then he said that if Miz would put the belt up one more time at No Mercy, Ziggler would stake his career on it.  So Ziggler will leave No Mercy with the belt.

Becky Lynch Makes an Entrance

Imagine this, but with Alexa Bliss sneaking out of the steam to attack Becky before anything else actually happens.  Alexa puts a pretty good beating on her, and eases to the back taunting a relatively motionless Becky.  This match should be pretty good next Sunday night.

Dean Ambrose gets his Opportunity

Let’s get to the point, AJ Styles won on a rollup with a handful of “tights” (which for Ambrose is a nasty pair of jeans), but this is what actually matters:

Cena was on commentary, and after Styles felt the need to attack him with a forearm, Cena got riled up, then Ambrose came to the outside and laid hands on Cena.  The match ended quickly thereafter, and Cena came in to hit an AA on both of his No Mercy competitors, hold the title high, then march up the ramp, pointing at the No Mercy promotion with shouts of “This is My Time”.

Not a bad show, the Orton-Wyatt parts too up way too much of the show’s broadcast time, but it was an enjoyable show.

Now quit reading this, it’s time for Todd Chrisley.