Bad to the Ken Bone – A Smackdown Recap 10/11/2016

So Mauro was on fire tonight, but since Jeremy may be the world’s biggest Ken Bone fan…

Those of you that have #WWE2K17, please tell me that someone has already created Ken Bone. #badtothebone

— The Dark Match (@TheDarkMatch) October 11, 2016

For those of you who live under a rock, this is Ken Bone, the hero of the second Presidential Debate.  Want to put wagers on this being the most popular Halloween costume this year?  He’s probably in the Andre the Giant Battle Royale Match at Wrestlemania as well.

We’re in San Jose tonight, because California is a big place so they want to make sure to hit the entire state over the course of a few weeks, unlike how they’ve approached booking Texas by giving them Wrestlemania in Dallas, TLC in Dallas, and then a month later, why the hell not, let’s give them the Royal Rumble, too.  I’m not entirely butt hurt by the fact that I’ve got to go back to Texas for the event instead of heading to LA as was previously reported to be the location (and also significantly cheaper as 1/2 of The Dark Match brass lives there and is willing to put me up for events in the area), but spread the wealth a little.

Anyway, let’s start the Blue Show…..

The NEWWW @WWE Intercontinental Champion @HEELZiggler kicks off the 895th edition of #SDLive, LIVE NOW on @USA_Network! pic.twitter.com/hcCKAeNF38

— WWE (@WWE) October 12, 2016

That’s right, Ziggy is the Intercontinental Champ, but his celebration would be short lived as The Miz is right out to talk up the prestige he’s brought back to the belt.  In case I haven’t made it abundantly clear, my favorite matches of 2016/the later part of 2015 have all been surrounding the Intercontinental Title.  Owens-Ambrose, the six-man ladder at Mania, Ziggler-Owens, while there have been some miscues, like taking the belt right back from a deserving Zack Ryder the night after Wrestlemania, this has been right up there as the most consistent part of everything WWE has done since Levi’s Stadium for Mania 2015.

Anyway, Miz let’s Ziggler know he’s now going to have a handicapped match against the Spirit Squad.  I’m a little curious as to why Shane or Daniel Bryan would just let this happen, but whatever.  I don’t ask as many questions about the logic during Smackdown as I do during Raw, so I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.

Just when I thought I would get a bathroom break during the commercial, Smackdown Live gave me something amazing, split screen breaks.  While Madea Scared Stupid commercials are sort of distracting during a Ziggler-Spirit Squad Handicapped Match, why in the hell have they never done this before?  This was just amazing.  (Unfortunately, it didn’t hold throughout the broadcast, as they cut almost immediately to a commercial as Naomi and Carmella got started)

Miz distracted Ziggler throughout but of course Ziggler picks up the win and the sore loser from Sunday night’s No Mercy would slide in the ring for a Skull Crushing Finale, and as the trio continued beating on Ziggler, guess who’s got the new champ’s back….

“It’s Beauty and the Man-Beast to the RESCUE!” – @MauroRanallo#SDLive @MikeTheMiz @HeathSlaterOMRB @Rhyno313 pic.twitter.com/JV9AsWoAhx

— WWE (@WWE) October 12, 2016

Shane and Daniel challenged Raw to three different Survivor Series matches, hoping to pit 5-on-5 in the men’s singles, women’s singles, and tag team categories.  Wow, am I glad I’ll be in Toronto, if only to see the Smackdown Tag Team Division just completely obliterate Raw’s.  And why?  That’s absolutely right, you have been paying attention.

I also need to applaud this segment because they didn’t come out and take up twenty minutes in the ring to say all this, they just had a backstage few minutes where they issued a challenge to the Red Brand.  This was well done, and I like that Smackdown, typically, takes the opportunity to highlight the talent and not the brass.

FEEL THE GLOWWWWWWWWWW

Carmella jumped Nikki Bella backstage earlier in the day, so rather than Bella-Mella, Nikki’s Glowing Buddy Naomi will challenge her.

It’s a decent match, with Alexa Bliss watching on a monitor in the back for seemingly no reason other than another whining promo but she is interrupted by Daniel Bryan who informs her she gets to face Naomi again next week.

On the distraction from Nikki Bella, Naomi would bridge one hell of a roll up to get the win.  She basically rolled her over and took “wheel pose”.  Yes, I do Yoga.  Nikki Bella would then chase Mella out of the ring, and she’d escape off into the crowd.  So now Naomi has back to back wins on the top two women’s heels, and that’s big.

Ready, Willing and Chad Gable vs One of the Usos (You know I don’t know which)

Chad Gable really is an amazing technical wrestler.  I do wish that he was given more opportunity to actually do that, but since he’s wedged in this feud with The Usos, who are not such, he only gets to kind of display his talents before some heelish stupidity, such as in this match.  The other Usos helped the one in competition here hold down Gable on a roll up.

The Phen….sorry, The Face That Runs The Place is Here!

So WWE.com asked Twitter earlier today who they wanted AJ Styles to defend against next, to which I emphatically responded Chris Jericho.  Styles attempted to pull off a Jericho-esque promo, but didn’t really pull it off quite that well…..and you know what that means

AJ Styles would go on to explain that he’s giving an opportunity to a main event caliber star tonight, drawing Ambrose from the back to do his whole “I’m not done with you by a long shot” schtick.

AJ would then call out his actual opponent, James Ellsworth.  Daniel Bryan comes out and makes it official, and then announces that Ambrose is the Special Guest Referee.  This is a silly segment, but I’m ok with pretty much anything they do involving little Jimmy.

This match would also get the commercial split screen.  Ambrose gives AJ a full pat down to check him for foreign objects.  This may be my favorite use of Dean Ambrose since he lost his Intercontinental Title.  Throughout the match, Ambrose aids Ellsworth, as could be expected, stopping at one point to take a phone call, sliding to the outside to sign an autograph, then he hits the Dirty Deeds on Styles and rolls Ellsworth on top of the champ….but AJ with the kick out at 2.

So why not, another Dirty Deeds, and while AJ may have just beaten both Ambrose and John Cena at the same time, James Ellsworth now has a win over the WWE World Champion.

Demon, Viper, Eater, Buzzard

 This match went to commercial right after it started.  Actually, Wyatt and Harper came out and talked for about a minute and a half, then there was a commercial.  Then Kane and Orton made their entrances, and almost as soon as the bell rang they went to commercial again, this time without the split screen.  When it finally came back from the 12th airing of the Madea Halloween thing, there was only 6 minutes left of Smackdown.  The Wyatt’s worked well together, keeping Kane pinned on their side of the ring, but Kane turns the tide with a DDT so the Viper could come in on the hot tag.  At one point, the screen went dark following the weird Wyatt thing and Kane was missing.  Luke Harper had replaced him in Orton’s corner.  When Orton turned around Wyatt hit a terrible looking Sister Abigail.

Other Stuff/Things of Note:

• Luke Harper was supposed to go to Raw, but then Erick Rowan got hurt.  I don’t want to be the guy that says he’s thankful that someone else got hurt, but I’m thoroughly thankful that someone else got hurt.
• Does anyone else desperately wish that when Sheamus retires he actually opens the Brogue Kick Saloon from the WWE2K17 ad?
• The FACTS: Curt Hawkins did not actually perform this evening as promised during No Mercy.  If he got injured during that walk to or from the ring, I may literally die from laughter.

For those of you that appreciate Hot Takes

There’s bound to be “more fire than a Samsung Galaxy Note 7” – Mauro Renallo