Delete Them, Brother Randy – A Smackdown Recap (10/25/16)

“I’ve created a monster, ’cause nobody wants to see Ambrose no more, they want Ellsworth, I’m chopped liver”

Eminem was not live, but Smackdown Live was, right here in Green Bay, Wisconsin

Neither was Mick Foley.  He was too busy trying to salvage whatever the hell last night’s Raw episode was.

So where should we start…oh yes.  Typically we have a Mauro moment of the night, but tonight, he was one-upped by Otunga during the Tag Team Qualifying match for Survivor Series between the Hyped Ones and The Ascension, wherein David referred to Mojo, fresh off the hot tag, as the “Zubaz Spaz”.  ‘Atta Boy, Otunga, well done.

They Hype Bros would go on to win that match with a Hype Ryder in front of what might as well be another hometown crowd for Mojo, who played for the Green Bay Packers.

Righting Raw’s Wrong:

Man, this section could be like a mile long, and honestly I’m truly invested in some Todd Chrisley right now, so we’ll keep it short.  Consider all the talent the women’s division on Raw has.  Now remember that you haven’t seen Nia Jax in forever, and there’s likely 15 other women on the roster who just never get TV time (Where the hell is Summer Rae?).  During last night’s episode of Raw, the women’s division elicited the “boring” chant from a packed house in Minnesota.  If you don’t realize why the location makes it worse, you’re probably from Minnesota.  The women of Raw were given a contract signing segment (because Paperwork is always enjoyable) and an arm wrestling match where one competitor was in kinesio tape (because Bayley is the scrappy underdog, remember?…right?…)

Tonight, the women of Smackdown were given two quality segments, even if one was primarily promo, because the promo segment featured the #StraightFire #IrishLassKicker

Lynch barely got two words into her interview with Renee Young before Alexa commandeered the segment.  They should pair Sasha Banks up with Alexa to train on mic skills, because Alexa is a Boss.

They came to blows and it was a rather violent affair.  Then Alexa went sort of a tamed down version of the NWO, spray painting a yellow line down Becky’s spine.

Your other women’s usage for this episode of Smackdown came in the form of an actual match.  I know, you only had to sit through almost 4 hours of WWE programming this week to see a legitimate women’s wrestling match, but we got one, as the Queen of Harts took on Lady Fearless.

These two battle to be selected as team captain for Smackdown SS Women’s Squad, with the loser not having a place on the team of 5.  Bella picks up the win, which actually surprised me because I expected the Carmella interference to cost Bella the match.  Mella does attack Bella in her post match celebration.

If you can’t beat them, RKO Kane to go heel

Kane and Bray Wyatt meet in a no DQ match, so you know it has to involve Randy and Luke Harper.  Harper makes his appearance early, as Kane sets up for a chokeslam on the Announcer’s Table and the lights go out.  Harper just helps Bray get back into the contest and is, for the most part, just standing in Wyatt’s corner.

Then the moment comes where Harper climbs onto the apron and Orton comes to the rescue.  He stares Harper down, who backs away to the outside, leaving Orton and Kane to set up for what appears to be a tandem Chokeslam-RKO, but Randy Orton turns on the Big Red Machine, hitting an RKO and later explaining backstage that if you can’t beat them join them.  So…expect him to grow a gnarly beard, and for that, Randy……YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!!!!

But for real though, when Vince inevitably ends up with TNA, Wyatt-Orton vs Brother Nero and Broken Matt is going to be a fantastically weird experience.

No Chin Music

Ambrose goes one on one with AJ Styles for a number one contenders opportunity, but Ellsworth, being the appreciative gentleman that he is, humbly requests to be in Ambrose’s corner to cheer him on from ringside.  Ambrose reluctantly obliges, and in another main event scenario, James Ellsworth is on screen.

They’ve really created a monster here.  Ellsworth has essentially become our internet darling as Heath Slater did.  And I think we relate to him because he’s kind of the every man, and we appreciate him getting to genuinely appreciate the opportunity he’s being given here.

We also made the Ellsworth T-Shirt the top selling item of the past week on WWE Shop.  That’s just absolutely insane, considering the new Goldberg shirt is actually pretty bad ass.

Ellsworth does his part, playing the cheering fan, until AJ Styles hits him with a massive dropkick through the ropes to the outside.  Late in the match, Dean sends him to the outside as Ellsworth is getting up, and Ellsworth goes full Hogan, charging up and hitting the “No Chin Music” on AJ Styles.  This, of course, creates a situation where Dean’s manager has now interfered in the matchup, right in front of the referee, who calls for the bell on the DQ.

Ambrose lost his number one contender opportunity, but Ellsworth got yet another opportunity to shine, which he’s seemingly going to keep getting while this program is working.

Not Smackdown’s best since the split, but not bad, and a hell of a lot better than what the Red Brand presented last night.