This is why we can’t have nice things – A Raw Recap for 12/19/2016

This Raw comes to us from somewhere in Ohio?  Columbus?  Cleveland?  Who cares.  Look at me getting heel heat.

Crash Cage by Mattel

Apparently the Crash Cage isn’t selling so well because it looks like we’ve got another match booked with a dude hanging from a cage.  Jericho will be suspended in it while Owens and Roman fight below.  They called it a shark cage but I’m sure it’ll be in the Crash Cage by the time we get to the Rumble.  This might kill my hopes for a Shield Vs. Jeri-KO and HHH match…or maybe not.  Maybe the cage lowers and we find out that HHH did it.  Ambrose comes out to even the score.

On a side note, Foley is looking great.  Not in his fashion choices, he’s just looking slim.  Good for you, Mick!  In other news, Foley is the Marnie of WWE.  Here’s two pics for comparison:

They even kind of walk the same.

Expect this to get more ridiculous by the time we get to the Rumble.

Two Women’s Storylines

We can have two storylines in Women’s wrestling on Raw!  Sure, they still revolve around those Sasha and Charlotte still, but it’s a start.  First we have Nia Jaxx telling Sasha, “You’re not the boss of me.”  She then proceeded to throw her around like it was absolutely nothing.

Next, we’re returning to Bayley Vs. Charlotte, the hugger vs. the queen.  I kind of figured that this was the case after they booked Charlotte to win at Road Block.  There’s not much depth in the division as Emma is continuously delayed and Alicia Foxx has been relegated to Cruiserweight girlfriend.  And for some reason they had a match where Bayley again gets the small package for the win.  The Hugger is 3-0 vs. Charlotte and the title has never been on the line.  Expect that to change soon.

Braun is why we can’t have nice things

Foley wisely gave Sami the night off and told him not to come near the arena.  It was a good call as Strowman was upset, to say the least.  He was throwing the staff around backstage, he interrupted a Titus O’Neil Vs. Kalisto match (thank god, but I thought Braun was a heel?) and destroyed the Christmas set in the process.

Was that it?  No.  More on Strowman later.

The Main Event:  Jeri-KO Vs. Reigns and Rollins

We’ve seen this a bit before so I’m not going to get super detailed.  The only thing different is that both teams are solidly on the same page with their partners.  It was a little wobbly before.

I liked the Rollins and Jericho segments in this match way better than the entire match at Road Block.  Something was a little off with their chemistry on Sunday but this is what I was expecting.  The highlight was definitely Rollins’ neck breaker and DDT at the same time to Jeri-KO.

Braun wasn’t done destroying.  He interrupts the main event and Jericho and Owens wisely feed their opponents to the beast.  Jeri-KO escape to the top of the ramp and stare at Braun as the show ends.

Everything Else

• Sheamus and Cesaro have new Tag Team belts.  They’re red to match the Smackdown titles.  I just hope they don’t change the WWE Championship.  Keep that black please.

• Speaking of Sheamus and Cesaro.  They’re killing it.
• The New Day acknowledged their loss.  Kofi ruminated that you don’t become a 16-time champion without losing 15 times.  Big E, in the line of the night and possibly the month, added “Charlotte will be there next month.”  Charlotte, the burn unit will see you now.
• There was a 16-man tag match.  I’m pretty sure the faces won, but I’m not sure.  I kind of spaced out on it.  But I do prefer it as opposed to an immediate rematch.
• Cass beat down Rusev and refused to let up after it was ruled a Disqualification.
• Enzo and Cass had to go through sensitivity training for walking around nude a few weeks ago.  Bo was also there because he’d been pushing his Boliefs on others.  Of course it ended with Rusev and Jinder Mahal beating down the Smacktalker Skywalker after the meeting was over.  Does this mean we’re getting Jinder teaming with Rusev?  This doesn’t seem like it’ll go well.
• Cedric Alexander beat Noam Dar in a very quick Cruiserweight match.  Noam called a truce but Cedric passed.
• Also, Neville was out to draw heel heat by insulting the fans.  Swann, Kedrick, and TJP all came out.  It appears Neville might team with Kendrick for a bit.