Goldberg, Goldberg, Goldberg, Goldberg – WWE Raw Recap (Feb. 27, 2017)

The Resch Center in Green Bay, Wisconsin plays host to Raw tonight, and we’re not wasting any time getting it kicked off.

Goldberg, Goldberg, Goldberg, Goldberg

Big Bill Goldberg kicks off the show.  As per usual, Bill is short with his words, guaranteeing he will walk into Wrestlemania the Universal Champion, so Kevin Owens emerges to fill the void.

He’s in the suit again.  I’m getting the impression that Triple H is building a new Authority.

Kevin’s end of this was merely listing big name stars he has beaten in matches, which is an impressive list, though a handful of them have asterisks from Jericho interference.  Goldberg tells him he doesn’t want to wait until Sunday, but Kevin informs the people of Green Bay they weren’t worthy of seeing him fight.

That may be the shortest Raw opening segment I can ever remember.  Seriously, it’s only 8:12.

The Stuff in the Middle

• New Day (Xavier and E) vs Jinder Mahal & Rusev:  Yes, this match again, because booking is complicated.  New Day also made an Oscars reference in their promo.  Fell kind of flat.  Corey Graves wants you to make notice of Jinder Mahal’s physique, consistently referring to him as Hardbody Mahal instead of Jinder.  Rusev on the other hand seems to have put some of the weight back on that he dropped right before his wedding.  A Kofi Kingston-Lana argument led to Xavier rolling up Mahal and New Day win.  
• If you’re in the market for a new WWE Shirt or two, tonight’s Shop.wwe.com promotion is buy one shirt get a second shirt for $1.  I definitely don’t need anymore, plus the only one I want is never in the deal eligible list.
• Holy crap, are they going to build to a Cesaro-Joe feud?  That would be awesome.
• Stephanie berates Foley in a backstage segment.
• Akira Tozawa vs Noam Dar:  Akira Tozawa is freaking awesome.  Dar couldn’t really get anything going.  That Snap German Suplex just comes on so quickly.  Akira Tozawa via pinfall.  The Brian Kendrick attacks Tozawa from behind following the match.

• Charlotte & Nia Jax vs Sasha Banks & Bayley:  The match finally took place after an insanely long promo that saw Charlotte, Bayley and Sasha Banks go round and round.  Initially, Dana Brooke was said to be Charlotte’s partner, and she stood in the ring silently while the people that matter in the story were talking, then Charlotte revealed that Jax would be her partner for the matchup.  Nia Jax had been getting so much better in the ring towards the end of her time in NXT.  Since her call up, the combination of sparatic use and numerous squash matches seem to have been detrimental to that continued growth in the ring.  Bayley lays out Dana Brooke with a Bayley to Belly on the outside, and following a commercial break we were told that Dana was being checked on by medical staff for a possible rib injury sustained.  Nia Jax via Pinfall over Bayley.
• Big Cass vs Luke Gallows:  Before they’ll meet up with their partners for the Tag Team Match at Fastlane, the big men meet up for this match.  Cass via pinfall.
• Sheamus vs Titus O’ Neil:  I think I fell asleep during this one.  Sheamus via pinfall with a Brogue Kick.
• Seth Rollins sits down in ring with Corey Graves.  He’s in a knee brace and on a crutch.  He tells Graves he doesn’t think the medical staff will clear him by Wrestlemania.  And TRIPLE H is in the house!!!!  Seth Rollins guaranteed he was going to be at Wrestlemania.  Triple H cut one hell of a promo.
• Big Show vs The Shining Stars (Handicap Match):  Show is under 400 pounds, that’s just incredible.  He’s in the best shape I can ever remember him being in and he’s so much better in the ring with his new conditioning.  Short match, Big Show via pinfall following a chokeslam.  I don’t know which of the Stars he pinned, I don’t care enough to know which one is which.
• Tony Nese & Neville vs TJP & Jack Gallagher:  If you want viewership up on 205 Live, start putting these big time matches on there and not on Raw.  Another really short match.  Gallagher over Nese via Submission
• Congrats to Beth Phoenix on her Hall of Fame selection.
• Samoa Joe vs Cesaro:  I don’t guess I’ve ever really noticed, but Joe gets ridiculously sweaty in his matches.  Like dripping.  It’s got to be tough for his opponents to safely execute moves with his sweat all over the place.  Samoa Joe via pinfall.  This was a pretty good match.  I think they need to circle back to this.  Joe is interviewed at the top of the ramp, Sami Zayn’s music starts and he attacks like Joe did last week.  Security broke them up.

The Main Event:  Paperwork, Yay!

Yes, you’re reading that correctly.  Cesaro and Samoa Joe squared off, but this was at the top of the card.  Strowman joined Foley in the ring, talked down to him and Foley demanded respect.  When Strowman got in his face, Roman’s music hit.  They went straight into the brawl, fighting into the crowd.  Roman speared Strowman through a security guard and the barricade, then climbed in the ring to sign the contract.  Roman hit about 100 Superman Punches on Strowman.  Strowman got up and met him in the ring, throwing him into the turnbuckles with less force than he normally throws opponents but to make it look more devastating the top rope broke loose and kicked back into the ring.  Strowman stood tall, Roman signed the contract.

All in all, not a terrible show, wish they’d have devoted more time to the Cesaro-Joe match, but I can’t always get what I want.  See you tomorrow evening for Smackdown Live and Jeremy will be back with you next week.