The Dark Match Predicts WWE Payback 2017

Sunday Night, WWE ventures into Bayleyville as San Jose, California plays host to WWE Payback 2017.  If you watched the dumpster match, you are already aware that I can’t make any jokes here that haven’t already made themselves, so let’s just get into the predictions.

The Kickoff Show

Matt: The Payback kickoff show, in addition to probably featuring Sam Roberts (and I’m sure Rosenberg will turn up to, to no one’s amusement), will feature another episode of the most WWE talk show in history as the event will be…Miz TV.  Miz will welcome Finn Balor, and now that I see it here I’m just going to assume that the rumor from this week that they’re going to steer away from Ambrose-Miz and do Balor-Miz first is pretty legitimate.  Expect Miz to eat a monstrous DDT and coup de gras in a rather short segment.

Jeremy:  I can confirm that Sam Roberts and Jerry Lawler will indeed be joining the kickoff panel.  As far as that Miz TV segment, he should know that it always involves him eating the finisher of whatever guest he has on there.  Today will be no different with Bálor.  The big question is if this is a shift of feuds or if this is simply just a one off.  The rumors are signaling are pointing to Ambrose squaring off with Bray next and Finn filling Miz’s dance card.

Matt – Your kickoff match for the evening are the odd two tag teams out of the equation for the belts right now.  I’d expect a lengthy entrance from Enzo finding ways to make fun of Samoa Joe beyond him being SAWFT, but ultimately, whether the Hardyz or Sheasaro (TM applied for), Gallows and Anderson are going to ride this new wave back to the title picture very, very soon.

Jeremy – This match is solely here to get the crowd hyped up.  Neither team are doing a lot at the moment so it allows Enzo to get some mic time and Gallows and Anderson an opportunity to get heat.  They’ve shown that they can consistently do that by beating up Enzo, so it’s a win-win.  It does seem like we’ve seen this matchup too many times, but it’s reliable.  Gallows and Anderson get the win here.

WWE Payback 2017

Matt – I think some sort of shenanigans from TJP costs Aries the title this time.  Neville will leave with the belt and his crown as King, but Aries is going to end up with it at some point, unless they shift him over to the main roster and bring up the Glorious One to be his tag team partner.  205 Live is loaded with talent, so they either need some sort of payoff here or they need to move on to the next guy.  There’s only one belt and 17 people worthy of carrying it (only 2, in my opinion, truly, that aren’t in this match, and that’s Ali and Nese).  Neville retains, Aries wins the match via DQ.

Jeremy – I actually really like TJP as a heel.  He only worked as a face for the Cruiserweight Classic.  I do think he interferes here on Neville’s behalf, causing the Man Who Gravity Forgot to retain the Championship.  How long is this alliance going to last though?  It’s only a matter of time until TJP wants a shot himself.  Aries wins by DQ, Neville is still your champion.

Matt – I see about the same thing happening here.  Something is going to get Chris Jericho a win to send him on his merry way to the Fozzy tour, probably a beatdown courtesy of KO and Samoa Joe that will send Jericho out on a stretcher.  It writes his time away, pretty cleanly, and he gets a win to come back on down the line.  Jericho wins the match, does not win the war here.

Jeremy – It’s no secret that Jericho is going on tour with Fozzy very soon.  It’s possible that he still wrestles on Monday or Tuesday nights and still makes his tour schedule, but I think it’s unlikely.  The Miz TV segment already felt like a farewell (for now) segment.  I feel like Chris won’t quite be able to make it work here.  To add insult to injury, I think KO will submit Chris to the Walls of Jericho.  I’m probably way off base here but that’s what I feel.  This could be the sleeper hit of the card.  KO retains via submission.  Jericho shows up on Raw to say goodbye.

Matt – These teaser images inch closer and closer to the inevitable return of Broken Matt Hardy when they lose these titles.  I don’t think they do it this quickly, but it would be fun to listen to the promo regarding their rematch at the Balls of Great Flame.  There’s not a bad guy here.  I think one of the most amazing things about this return has been that it isn’t really Jeff that everyone is watching so closely, like the majority of their first run with the company, and really, the majority of their wrestling careers.  Matt Hardy struck gold, and the WWE is itching to let us see it shimmer.  Jeff and Matt retain.

Jeremy – The only thing that I can guarantee is that Matt will increasingly be more #Broken in his match tonight.  It’ll be a solid match.  The only way I see the Hardyz losing is if Jeff somehow causes a loss with his “spot monkey” ways.  That’s only going to happen if WWE Legal is ready to pull the trigger on #Broken Matt Hardy.  Otherwise, I expect more #Broken hints and Matt and Jeff winning by a Twist of Fate/Swanton combo.  There’s a possibility that losing will cause a rift in Sheamus and Cesaro’s partnership.  I hope not.  I love those guys.

Matt – My gut tells me that much like Orlando, they won’t have Bayley drop the belt in Bayleyville USA, but the way that Alexa Bliss has just had a monster push since she’s come up from NXT and out from behind Blake and Murphy has been insane.  Let’s go with nobody really wins, Nia Jax comes out and just lays absolute waste to both competitors, then for good measure Samoan Drops Booker T through the announce table.  Boom.  Nobody Wins.  

Jeremy – We’re in Bayley’s home town…so that doesn’t already look good for her.  One of two things are going to happen here:  1) Bayley loses and we have a new champion 2) We have some sort of DQ or countout finish.  I kind of wouldn’t be surprised if Nia Jax randomly shows up and beats both of them up.  I’m going for option #2.  Bayley retains by DQ loss or Count-Out.

Matt – This one is tricky for me to pick.  They let Seth Rollins go over on Triple H, but at the same time you almost need to let Samoa Joe just keep mauling people on his way to the top, just like every moment of NXT.  The smart pick would probably be Samoa Joe, but screw it, my gut tells me Seth Rollins.

Jeremy – Is it just me or does it feel like no time has been devoted to this in the last couple of weeks?  Perhaps it’s because Joe isn’t the monster that Braun is or we’re not wondering what exactly their match entails.  I know they were on Raw talking about this match, but it’s just not sticking out at me.  That’s a shame, I love these guys.  I think Joe will win this one by working that knee.  Seth submits, or passes out, to the Coquina Clutch.

Matt – You don’t retire the Undertaker and then lose your yard the very next day.  There’s no rational thinking creative department that would ever think that was ok, but then again, nobody knows what the fuck a House of Horrors match is, hence the reason I saved it for last, because my ridiculous predictions for the what will probably be an absolute trainwreck of a gimmick match will take a lot of typing.  Braun Strownman wins, because it saves Roman from the boos and gets you to Strowman vs Lesnar without drawing unnecessary Roman hatred by tossing him back into the title picture.  I think Roman needs some midcard time.  The United States title was working, almost like it did for Cena.  Let’s go back to that so he can just go out, continue to prove the haters wrong and inevitably be booed ironically so that he’s ok with it.  I feel for the damn guy.

Jeremy – I think Braun wins here solely to set him up as the most credible challenger for Brock Lesnar at WWE’s Great Balls of Fire.  A Roman loss here gives WWE some good will from the smarks and some sympathy from the Roman Reigns fans.  Roman will beat Braun again, but it will be at a later date, probably to determine who gets the next shot at Brock.  I liked the match they had at Fast Lane a lot.  I even didn’t mind the ending.  I think this time Braun sticks that Frog Splash and keeps Roman down for the 3-count.

Matt – They should have just called this a Dumpster Fire match, because that’s probably what it will end up being.  The most likely scenarios – 1) It’s pretty much just a boiler room match and 2) Bray Wyatt actually gets to win because the belt isn’t on the line.  Belittles the World Champion a touch, huh?  They don’t care, it’s Vince and Raw is the only thing that is important.  Bray Wyatt wins the Inferno Boiler Room Casket Hardy Complex TLC Match.  Other prediction: The Drifter wanders through whatever the locale of this match is, impeding in the flow of the match and not showing any concern at all about it.

Jeremy – This is going to be the best thing or the worst thing ever.  Since it’s WWE, I’m going to set the expectations of it being the worst thing ever.  Bray and Randy has oscillated from being amazing to terrible.  I have no idea which one we’re getting tonight.  I worry that it’s going to be as bad as when The New Day went to the Wyatt compound.  I really hope not.  They quietly dropped the WWE Championship from this match, which leaves me to believe that Bray is winning this match.

Thoughts:

Matt – 

Jeremy – Normally the day after Wrestlemania is the new year for WWE.  With the Superstar Shakeup, this year it’s not the case.  Payback is really closing out the wrestling year and finishing out all the feuds from 2016-2017 and starting fresh on May 1st.  It’s weird.  So hopefully tonight sets the proper tone for what’s to come.