This Father’s Day, Let’s Remember What’s Important….Professional Wrestling – Money in the Bank 2017 Recap/Reactions – June 18, 2017

Welcome to the Smackdown exclusive PPV event, Money in the Bank, live from St. Louis, Missouri.  It also happens to be Father’s Day, so throughout the evening, let’s remind some of our competitors who may not walk out as champions or winners of what they have in life that is still precious….a really cool job.  Oh, and they have kids, so we’ll highlight that as well.

I’m running this live, so reload as every 15 minutes or so to keep up with the show as it goes along.

Money in the Bank – Kickoff Show

The Dark Match Eats

So this segment didn’t dictate an entire post for this event.  I don’t like talking about it, but I’ve gone healthy of late.  I feel fantastic, for those interested, but we’ll move on.  For tonight’s St. Louis meal, I went with a St. Louis Style BBQ Pulled Pork Salad with Creamy Cilantro Dressing.  Yeah, it still sounds pretty damn good, and take a look…..

So what is in this: (I shop at Kroger, so I can only tell you the things I’m able to find there)

Serves 2
1 Bag Southwestern Salad Mix (Split in Half)
1 Small Package Baby Kale (Split in Half)
1 Bag Morningstar Pulled “Pork” (Trying to eat less meat)
1/2 Bottle St. Louis Style (Kroger Brand) BBQ Sauce
Packet Creamy Cilantro Dressing that comes with Salad Mix
Avocado

Pour the BBQ sauce in saute pan over medium low heat, add Morningstar “Pork” or a pound of whatever pulled pork you would like to it and cover.  Let it simmer for about 10-15 minutes.  Make salads.  Add Pork mix to top.  Pour dressing over top.  Sprinkle with cheese if you wish (I do, and I use Sharp Cheddar).

There you have it, and yes, it’s damn good.

The Hype Bros vs The Colons

Oh Long Island Iced Z is so happy to be back, and he kicks this one off with a Woo chant that gets the crowd invested.  The arena is only about half full right now, but people are piling in.  This show did not sell out, which is a bad sign.  Of course, if you’ve tried to buy tickets to a show lately, unless you’re willing to sit behind a beam for $20 you’re going to pay out the ass for any other ticket to an event, even house shows.  Mojo is Hype as ever, and appears to be in even better shape than he was at Mania.  Zack Ryder is seriously like a little kid, he loves every minute of it every time he gets to perform.  It feels a little disrespectful that you’ve already got these guys in the preshow, and now you’re going to commercial breaks on a PPV event.  Ryder was selling that his knee might still be hurt, but it didn’t matter.  Woo Woo Woo, Mojo on the hot tag cleans house, tag to Ryder for the Hype Ryder, and Mojo Rawley and Zack Ryder pick up the win.

Before we get to the show, here’s Kevin Owens with his kids:

Money in the Bank 2017

Women’s Money in the Bank Match – Carmella, Natalya, Charlotte, Tamina and Becky Lynch

If you came into this night thinking the women might not put on a great MITB match, you were absolutely f***ing mistaken.  Tamina was really impressive, actually all three of the legacy competitors were.

I’ll jump in here, sold out or not, this St. Louis crowd is already on fire and I’m loving them.  They were so on board with the women here and I can’t help but appreciate a good crowd as so many of them are awful.

Everyone put on a good show, but in the end, James Ellsworth cost Becky Lynch the win, then climbed the ladder himself to retrieve the briefcase and drop it to Carmella.  The referees on the outside are debating the legitimacy of the victory, but the bell rang, and James Ellsworth made the announcement.  It appears it will stand, so yes, I did indeed pick the winner here, and nearly all the means by which it would happen.  So rest assured, James Ellsworth is going to get the shit beat out of him by Rusev at some point tonight.  Congratulations, Carmella, the first Ms. Money in the Bank.

Reaction:  It cheapens the living shit out of this whole thing to have a man get the briefcase down.  You have the most talented crop of female superstars that you have ever had with the company and this is the best you can do.  Let Ellsworth interfere and cost Becky the briefcase, but you cannot end it like this.  It’s absolutely ridiculous and I almost have no choice but to hope they realize how poorly this is going over right now and order the match to restart later in the evening.  It’s absolutely ridiculous.

The New Day vs The Usos for the Smackdown Tag Team Championship

The New Day send Kofi and Big E to the ring for this title opportunity.  The people in the front row at hard camera side do not like the Usos, so now I like this crowd even more than I already did.  As long as we get through the night without a completely unnecessary CM Punk chant we’ll get along quite well.

For all the things I don’t like about the Usos, they do work matches really well as heels.  I don’t like the characters because I hate listening to them talk, but I won’t talk down their in ring ability.

Having said that, this was one of the most off matches I’ve seen in a while.  There was something really wrong with the timing all around.  At one point Big E got the pinfall but it was supposed to be broken up, which it was just after the three had already been counted.  This was not the fantastic match I was expecting between these two quality teams of performers.

And on top of it, The New Day win, but The Usos retain via Count Out.  Kinda just glad that one is over.  They need some more house shows to get whatever was wrong worked out before the next title opportunity.

Reaction:  I covered it all, something wasn’t working here.  They’ll get it fixed before the next time they have a televised match.

 Naomi vs Lana for the Smackdown Women’s Championship

Naomi went big with the entrance, channeling her inner George Clinton with a glow in the dark headpiece.  It was pretty cool to watch.  And if you were curious if Lana would wrestle in the evening gown, no.  She wrestles in knee high silver boots and what amounts to the majority of a one piece bathing suit.

You have to love the commentary team, basically crapping on the idea of Lana even being in this match.  It’s great how much it feels like foreshadowing.  Lana is working the left leg of Naomi like a ring veteran.  It was not an injury that Naomi sold very well.  Lana hit that sitout spinebuster, but Naomi kicked out, at which point Carmella skipped her way to ringside accompanied by a referee and Ellsworth.  She teased that she was cashing in, but held on to it and stood at ringside.  She seems to be a hell of a distraction for Lana.  Naomi reverses a second attempt at the spinebuster into a roll up, but spins through it to some sort of Reverse Rings of Saturn, and Naomi remains Smackdown Women’s Champion.  Carmella opted not to use her briefcase.

Reaction:  Lana was not disappointing in this match.  It was a well worked match between them both, and she will be back in this position again.  A little disappointed by the lack of The Bulgarian Brute in any capacity, but maybe they’re saving him for something more meaningful later.

The Fashion Files – Fashion Vice

Fandango and Breeze go full Crockett and Tubbs for Fashion Vice.  A mysterious video tape is dropped off at Fashion Police Offices, which is a strange challenge for a match, tonight.

We then go to the debut of Mike and Maria Kanellis.  Who gives a shit?  Get these people off the screen so I don’t have to look at his ridiculous damn hair anymore.

Let’s look at more Father’s Day photos.

Jinder Mahal defends the WWE Championship against Randy Orton

This is not, in any way, a Jinder friendly audience.  That is to say, the lady in front of me in Atlanta with the “Jinder is my Hall Pass” sign is nowhere in this arena.

With a slew of legends at ringside, including Ric Flair, Cowboy Bob and the damn man himself, Sgt. Slaughter, we get this match underway.

This match seems to be going at both a fast and slow pace at the same time.  I can’t really explain it.  Orton was working a knee injury, so we will see how that plays out.

The Singh Brothers save a pinfall off an RKO at one point by pulling Jinder’s foot to the rope.  Rather than the DQ, Randy begs they just be tossed from ringside, and the ref obliges.  The Singh’s then feel the need to lay hands on Bob Orton, at which point Mahal just kind of disappears and Randy Orton mauls the ever loving shit out of both Singhs.  You know what this means though, right?  When Randy Orton gets distracted, what tends to be the outcome?

That’s right.  When Orton slides back in, a waiting Mahal strikes.  Jinder Mahal retains the WWE Championship.  

That’s ok though, look how cute he is with his kid…

Reaction:  Entirely expected, and the most entertaining part here was watching Orton slaughter the tiny Bollywood Boys.  They are both quality performers, match just felt sort of drug out to kill some time.

The Fashion Police vs Mystery Team

It’s really not a mystery.  You had to know it was The Ascension.  There aren’t even any other tag teams that it could be, unless it was the Bollywood Boys, but they just got the living hell beat out of them.

It was an incredibly short match, and The Fashion Police got the win via a roll up.

Yeah, that happened.  Just move on.  It was the easiest way to get all their kids in a single photo.

Money in the Bank Match – AJ Styles, Shinsuke Nakamura, Dolph Ziggler, Kevin Owens, Baron Corbin and Sami Zayn

I thought it was odd for Corbin to be the last entrant, but when he attacked Nak during his lengthy entrance, it all made sense.  Corbin’s character is absolute gold.  It needs to pay off with some sort of title belt or something sometime soon, but it’s awesome.  EMTs are tending to Nakamura, so you can pretty well rest assured he’s getting the win here.  The match begins with just five and EMTs are shown carrying Shinsuke into the backstage area.  Remember the last time Roman won the Royal Rumble????

This match plays like most Money in the Bank matches.  Really violent spots, but for the most part it is typically multiple guys laid out on the outside while two guys spend some time together in the ring.

I understand Drama, but I don’t climb a ladder that slowly when I’m being incredibly careful coming off a roof, with power tools in my hand, much less when I’m headed up, particularly for a briefcase that contains a shortcut to the future I most desire.  Just saying.

Sami Zayn hit a flipover sitout powerbomb on Dolph Ziggler off the top of the ladder.  Holy crap.  Ok, this match picked up about 10:30 (Eastern) and didn’t slow down.  Styles got chokeslammed on a ladder.  Kevin Owens ate what was pretty much an Attitude Adjustment off the apron onto a ladder.  AJ Styles was hanging from the chain trying to get the briefcase down anyway and fell.  Then Shinsuke came out.

Nakamura picks Corbin to pieces.  I’d almost rather Nakamura not win here and enter into a lengthy run against Corbin.  Corbin needs that sort of thing.

Nakamura pretty much just cleans house, wiping out Corbin, Ziggler and Zayn as the only three that weren’t already pretty well dead from previous spots.  Kevin Owens tries to slow him down getting a ladder, but he eats a Kinshasa on the outside much to the delight of the woman in the front row with the sleeves cut off her blue t-shirt.

And then there were two.  As Nakamura got a ladder set up, AJ Styles was standing on the other side of it.  They mutually carry the ladder out of the way and prepare for war.  They trade blows for a while before Shinsuke catches him in a headlock.  After an exploder suplex, he goes for Kinshasa and eats a semi-Phenomenal Forearm flat footed.

Eventually, they both begin to work their way up opposite sides of the ladder, trading shots at the top.  Corbin took advantage of the opportunity to take them both out, pushing the ladder over to clear Shinsuke and AJ from the ring, then setting it back up and capitalizing on all of Shinsuke’s devastation to become Mr. Money in the Bank.  Congratulations to Baron Corbin. 

Reaction:  While I didn’t call the win here, I did say not too long ago that Baron Corbin would hold the Championship before the end of the year.  The company seems too high on him, always keeping him relevant with those at the top of the card to not eventually get him there.  This match started kind of ho hum, but really picked up and then didn’t slow down once it got moving.

Overall Reaction:  While I’m glad I didn’t hop in the car and drive to St. Louis this morning because I was hyped enough about this card I almost did, it still wasn’t a bad show.  While the ending sucked, the Women’s match did not disappoint aside from that.  None of the titles changed hands, which is always sort of lackluster.  The briefcase tease was also sort of meh.

Thanks for joining me this evening.  Happy Father’s Day to the Fathers out there in Dark Match land.  Jeremy will be back on the beat tomorrow for Raw, and I’ll be back throughout the week for Smackdown’s fallout from this evening’s events, 205 Live and NXT, and I may even delve into the worlds of Impact and/or RoH this week, as I’ve started watching more of that and feel more comfortable talking about it.