Battle of Two Samoans Named Joe – A Raw Recap for 6/19/2017

Tonight’s Raw comes to us from somewhere in Evansville, Indiana.

Just Joe

Roman reigns starts off Raw with his special announcement that he teased us that we weren’t going to like.  Is he the one behind the attacks on Enzo and Cass?  If so, I’d love that.

No, he just wants to rattle off his accomplishments and just declares himself the #1 contender for Summerslam. He doesn’t care if it Lesnar or that Joe guy.

Samoa Joe doesn’t care for Roman’s smugness.  Roman repeats Heyman’s ludicrous line that he’s not really good because he’s not related to the rest of the Samoans.  I don’t really know why that’s a thing.  He calls Samoa Joe…Just Joe.

Roman is being a dick here and I think it might be the best version of Roman.

Joe thinks so too and headbuts Roman out of the ring setting up a match later in the night.

I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!

The Roman Vs Joe match was definitely the match of the night.  The intensity of Joe shined once again. It was quite a long match too.

Now, it’s not exactly how I would have had him return.  If you read my Extreme Rules predictions, you would know that I wanted Braun to fall from the sky after “I’m not finished with you” echoes throughout your house in Dolby Atmos. Yes, I know you don’t have a 7.1 system and WWE doesn’t even broadcast it.  The Wyatt powers would make it happen.

In reality, an ambulance backed into the arena and the video showed on the tron towards the end of the match.  Braun burst through the doors to a thunderous reaction. He’s back!

Joe capitalized and put Roman out with the Coquina clutch for the win.

Braun was soon behind. He reverse choke slammed a barely conscious Roman and challenged him to an Ambulance match at Great Balls of Fire!  Much Excite!

Mystery Solved

I’m just going to leave this here:

Friendship is Magic Dead.  The single tear from Zo got me.

Fuck you Tommaso Ciampa and Big Cass.  I guess I shouldn’t get too attached to the Fashion Police…

Everything Else

• Los Angeles is getting the Shattered Truth next week!  I’ll be in attendance.  I can’t wait!
• The Hardy boys defeat The Good Brothers with a Twist of Fate/Swanton combo.  It looked a little sloppy in some places but otherwise a good match.
• Seth, the WWE 2k18 cover star, tells you to define yourself and define your life. Fine Speech.  Bray interrupts on the video screen and says Bray things. Seth is conforming to what everyone wants him to be. Bray might actually have a point for once.
  • Bray actually comes out to the ring.  When the lights come on, Seth is perched on the top turnbuckle and dives at Bray, knocking him to the ground.
  • Somehow, Seth cuts up his cheek requiring a few stitches.  What?
• We’re in for a record heatwave this summer with Elias Samson.  The guy is going to be a legend.  He draws legitimate Miz level heat.  He’s there this evening to tune his guitar only to be interrupted by Finn Balor’s entrance.  Elias doesn’t take so kindly to it
  • Later in the evening, Elias attacks Finn during a backstage interview.  Looks like we’re getting this program.  I hope they can make it good.
  • Brother DeVon, now Producer DeVon, comes to Finn’s aid.
• Finn defeats Bo Dallas with a Coup de Grace.  Bo started out strong attacking Finn before the bell even rung.  It wasn’t enough as Finn controlled the later half of the match.
• Apparently, Corey Graves and Angle got the same mystery text on Father’s Day.  It’s HHH, right?
• Women’s devision free-for-all
  • What started as a match between Sasha and Nia Jax quickly involved the entire women’s devision.  Emma came to confront Alexa Bliss, who was on commentary, for abandoning her team last week.  Alexa ran to the ring to hopefully get help from Nia but it doesn’t look like they’re best friends anymore.  A misplaced kick from Emma to Nia ends the match in DQ.
  • Mickie James and Dana spill in from the back to even the odds for Sasha.
  • That’s not quite enough as Nia (wo)manhandles the entire devision.  Her biggest challenge is to remember how strong she is.
  • Bayley makes a return in a more muted outfit than normal.  She manages to clear the ring, with the fire she needed in the kendo stick match.  She hit a particularly vicious running knee on Emma.  I’m cautiously excited to see where they go with this.
• The Titus Brand
  • Akira Tozawa Vs. TJP
    • What was going to be a normal Cruiserweight match quickly changed as the Titus Brand hype machine came out in full force.  Your man Titus was out to announce the competitors.  Eager to sign Tozawa, Titus is out to hype up the barking Japanese wrestler.
    • It was quite long for a Raw Cruiserweight match.  It was a good match with Tozawa pulling off the victory.
    • Titus congratulates his winner but spends more time hyping up his tag team match with Apollo later that evening.
  • Apollo Crews Vs. Cesaro and Sheamus
    • They lose via pinfall.  Lol.
• Miz TV
  • Tonight’s special guest is Maryse as Miz attempts to make it up to her for the past two weeks of schenenigans.
  • This time he has two dancing bears and a giant present that he wrapped himself!
  • Maryse is skeptical, but gives him a chance.  Things go awry and Dean comes in to talk to the couple.  Miz hides behind Maryse and gets her champagne knocked in her face.  As Miz tries to get Dean out of the ring, he gets thrown into the present, the repaired grandfather clock from two weeks ago.  Maryse is understandably upset and leaves.
  • The two bears start beating down Dean.  You see, Miz made an offer to Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel to join his entourage earlier in the evening.  I think it will be a good pairing.
    • The rumor that I’ve heard is that Maryse is going away as Maria and Mike Kannelis have a very similar gimmick.  I’d hate to see that happen.  I think Miz and Maryse can evolve to differentiate themselves.  Maybe this is it and I don’t have faith?