There Can Be Only One – A Survivor Series 2017 Recap

Tonight’s Survivor Series comes to us from the Toyota Center in Houston, Texas.  Matt Dowd and Ryan are in attendance.

The Kickoff

Kalisto Vs. Enzo for the Cruiserweight Championship

Thanks to another miscommunication between the WWE and the arena, we had a second empty arena match of this year.  The arena sent out an email with an inaccurate start time.

I missed it, but Matt said that Enzo retained.

Sami & Kevin Vs. Breezango

Sami and Kevin show up to complain about how they aren’t team captains on the SmackDown team.  After all

Luckily we have our “local sexy cop hero” Fandango with his partner Tyler Breeze to take care of all the unkempt facial hair of Owens and Sami.

A fairly even match until Fandango got the upper hand.  He almost on a Leg Drop from the top rope until Owen rolled Sami out of the way like Sami did for Kevin a month ago.  Kevin tagged into and hit a powerbomb on Fandango for the win.

I hate seeing Breezango lose but it’s effective to get heat on Sami and KO.

The Main Card

The New Day Vs. The Shield

This match was completely bonkers.

It looked like it could be a quick one with the Shield displaying their dominance.  But they’ve never taken on a team like The New Day.  After escaping the setup for the first Shield Bomb, the match really started.

Big E was the real MVP.  He picked up both Dean and Seth as Kofi and Xavier flew through the air for a Double Big Ending.

But it ultimately wasn’t enough to keep the Hounds of Justice at Bay.  Dean and Seth load up Roman for a Super Shield Bomb to secure the first victory for Team Raw.

Women’s Survivor Series Match

Perhaps they really weren’t ready to pull the trigger on Paige or the plan was Nattie the whole time.  Here’s what happened:

• Bayley tags herself in and eliminates Becky Lynch with a quick rollup.
• Tamina eliminates Bayley after a lackluster Superfly splash from the top wrong.
• Tamina and Nia Jax, who are famiy, go at it a bit.  They trade headbutts.  Tamina tries to pick up Nia for a Samoan Drop.  Nope.  Nia easily gets Tamina up but Tamina wiggles out and sends Nia into the ropes, knocking Lana off the apron.  She gets caught up with Naomi, who’s not legal, on the outside and gets elimated via countout.
• Naomi eliminated Sasha Banks with a weird combination rollup that might have been botched.
• Sasha immediately locked in the Banks Statement and eliminates Naomi.
• Asuka hits a brutal kick on Carmella and eliminates her.
• Sahsa Banks is eliminated with a Sharpshooter from Nattie.  That leaves it a 2-on-1.  Asuka for Team Raw.  Nattie and Tamina for Team Smackdown.
• Asuka eliminates Tamina with an arm bar.  It’s 1-on-1.
• Nattie tries to get Asuka in the Sharpshooter but Asuka reverses into an leg bar.  Yeah, I think it’s called a leg bar?
• Asuka gets Nattie in an Asuka lock to become the Sole Survivor for Team Raw

They’re keeping score so that means Raw is up two matches to one.  Steph is back there to gloat about that.

Baron Corbin Vs The Miz

Maryse is in the front row to cheer her husband on.  Curtis Axel is wearing a red neck brace.  It’s a nice touch.

I had network issues this whole match.  I pretty much saw the End of Days and final pinfall.  Baron Corbin brings the first win for Team SmackDown.

When I asked Matt if anything interesting happened:

“Not really. Corbin basically destroyed The Miztourage, took the Yes Kicks, then landed End of Days. It was ok, Miz seemed oddly winded through most of that match.”

The Bar Vs. The Usos

The Usos come out and make a bunch of weird bar-related analogies.

Sheamus and Cesaro take control of the match and slow things way down.  About 7-8 minutes in, the Usos rally and start taking control.

Jey Uso jumps from the top rope but Sheamus catches him for the White Noise.  But Jimmy broke the pinfall attempt.

Later, Cesaro has Sheamus on his shoulders to try to setup for some sort of Super White Noise maybe.  But whoever the Uso was on the turnbuckles was able to turn it into a Super Samoan Drop.  Impressive.

Cesaro tried to finish it off with a Sharpshooter while Sheamus Brogue Kicked the other Usos.  That was ultimately unsuccessful.

It ended when one of the Usos hit a Frog Splash on Sheamus for the pinfall.

It was a hard hitting match.  I don’t think it was quite as good as The Shield Vs The New Day match at the beginning of the show.

Charlotte Flair Vs. Alexa Bliss

Let’s take a moment to acknowledge that the WWE has split all the International commentary teams to Team Raw and Team Smackdown.  Like, Funaki is apparently Team SmackDown for the Japanese commentary team.

Is Bliss going to kill the momentum of another of the Four Horsewomen?  Charlotte controls the early part of the match.  Bliss turns things around when they go to the outside and sends Charlotte into the steps, bruising her ribs.  That would come into play later in the match when Charlotte goes for her moonsault and finds no one home.

Alexa has great fire for the whole match.  She has several great moments arguing with the referee.

Ultimately, when Alexa thinks she has it won, she goes for a Twisted Bliss.  Knees up.  Charlotte locks in the Figure 8 and Alexa immediately taps out.

It’s probably one of the better matches that I’ve seen Alexa wrestle.  Great job.

Brock Lesnar Vs. AJ Styles

I know Matt thinks that this can be AJ’s night but he’s talking about The Champ that runs…er…Matt’s closet?  He’s got like a dozen AJ shirts in almost every combination.  We’re going to start a Patreon for this site that supported solely by donations of AJ Styles shirts.  I’m preparing for the more realistic conclusion of AJ losing to one F5.  If one takes down Braun Strowman, I can’t imagine needing more than one for Styles.

It’s not long before we’re going to Suplex City.  When AJ wiggles out of the first F5 attempt, that’s when things start to turn around.  Brock launches himself into the corner and hurts his knee on the turnbuckle.  AJ sees the opportunity and works that knee.  He hits him with a Pele kick.  He hits a Phenomenal Forearm to the outside.  He slams Brock’s knee into the steps and hits another Forearm.  Back in the ring, AJ hits a 450 for the first pin attempt.

Lesnar tries again for the F5 but finds himself in the Calf Crusher.  Brock almost taps out.  It would have been great.  Houston would have lost their minds.  I would have too.

But no, Brock catches AJ when he goes for the Forearm one last time and hits an F5.

Bravo to AJ and the agent for this match.  They actually made me believe that it was possible for Lesnar to be defeated.  I told myself that I wouldn’t ever believe it was possible after both Joe and Braun were unable to get the job done.  AJ convinced the doubters.

I’m still angry that we’re on this march to a predictable Wrestlemania 34.  I guess that’s what it takes to make me a Roman Reigns mark.

Men’s Survivor Series Match

Here we go.  The main event.  Let’s take bets on if Kane or Jason Jordan manage to interfere in the match.

• Braun and Shane start it off when Shane attacking from behind.  Braun didn’t take kindly to that that and launched McMahon across the ring.  He promptly tagged out to Orton.
• Orton and Joe go at it for a bit.  Joe brushes off an RKO attempt and tags in Finn.  Nak goes crazy and wants in the match.   He’s got prior business with Fergal…er…Finn.
• They go at it for awhile.  I wish we can get a full match out of them.
• Roode and Triple H meet.  Roode tried to taunt Triple H but that didn’t go well.
• Shinsuke goes up against Braun Strowman.  He hit a couple strikes on him but finds himself on the bad side of a Running Powerslam.  Nakamura is the the first one eliminated.
• Braun eliminates Roode less than 2 minutes later.
• Team SmackDown suplexes Braun Strowman through the German announce table.
• Shane McMahon gets on the top turnbuckle to dive on Braun but Joe stops him with a Super Back Body Drop.
• Cena AAs Joe, then Finn, then Joe again.  He pins Joe to get the first elimination for Team SmackDown.
• Cena and Angle go at it.  Angle plays possum and reverses a Five Knuckle Shuffle into an Ankle Lock.
• Cena pins Angle but Shane breaks the count.  With the ref busy with McMahon, Bálor hits a Coup de Grace on Cena.  Angle hits an Olympic Slam on Cena to take him out of the match.
• Randy RKOs Finn Bálor to eliminate him from the match.
• As Randy tries to tag in Shane, KO and Sami pull him off the apron and beat him up outside the ring.  Shane gets a chair and gets in a few hits.  As Kevin tries to escape, Randy hits him with an RKO.
• Angle tags in Braun Strowman.  Strowman immediately puts out Randy.  It’s 3-1 with SmackDown’s weakest member, Shane McMahon.
• There’s a fight among team Raw on who’s going to take out Shane for the victory.  Finally we settle on Angle and Shane. Kurt puts on the Ankle Lock on Shane.
• TRIPLE H PEDIGREES KURT ANGLE AND PUTS SHANE ON TOP.  Shane eliminates Angle.
• Triple H and Braun Strowman just stare at each other.  This is getting really uncomfortable.
• Triple H checks on Shane to see if he’s ok…and then Pedigrees him.  Triple H wins Survivor Series.
• Braun Strowman is confused.  Triple H lifts Brauns hand in victory.
• Braun, still confused, Reverse Powerslams Triple H twice.  He threatens HHH in the corner but my Network cut out.  I’m sure he warned Trips about using any of the Cerebral Assassin stuff on him.

So that’s the show!  It’s a very confusing ending.  I hope they adequately explain it on Raw tomorrow night.  I don’t really have faith that they will though…