Tonight, on the Jason Jordan Show – Monday Night Raw Recap – 12/18/2017

Providence, RI plays host to tonight’s broadcast of WWE’s Jason Jordan Show.  Let’s see what sort of shenanigans JJ will get in to this evening.

A Monster, A Machine and A Beast

No, this isn’t a new Grace Potter and the Nocturnals album.  We begin the show tonight with our illustrious General Manager Kurt Angle, who has a bit of a conundrum on his hands.  Since there was not an actual victor in the number one contenders match, who should face Brock Lesnar at Royal Rumble?

Strowman isn’t far behind, stating his case after having been the only one left standing when Raw ended last week.  Kane was next out to remind Angle and Strowman that he’s been laying waste in WWE for 20 years, and while Strowman himself and his own brother in destruction The Undertaker might be on Lesnar’s list of victims, he’s never beaten Hell’s favorite demon.

Ladies and Gentlemen……Ladies and Gentlemen…..Paul Heyman doesn’t think this discussion should happen without input from the reigning, defen…….you know the drill.

Lesnar makes his way out, and a frightened Kurt Angle quickly lets all three know that at Royal Rumble, we will be getting a monstrous Universal Championship Triple Threat Match.  Angle runs.  Things escalate quickly.  Strowman ends up on the outside and Lesnar lays out Kane with an F5.  He pridefully works his way up the ramp, but does that scared Brock Lesnar thing when Kane sits up in the ring and stares him down.

Opinion Piece:  Kane is sort of an odd choice, but let’s be real, this is likely his farewell tour.  Doesn’t really hurt to serve him up here, where he can eat the pin so Strowman doesn’t take another Lesnar loss.  It’s going to be a big match, and I’d half expect the two monsters to put Lesnar out, much like the Fatal Four Way, so they can carry a longer match before Lesnar makes his way in to carry them both to Suplex City.

The Jason Jordan Show Hell Yeah!

Next out is Seth Rollins who is set to face Samoa Joe, but nobody wants to see that, so Jason Jordan rectifies the situation by making his presence known.  If Rollins wants Joe, he’ll have to wait until Jordan is finished with him.

Joe feels like “the Belle of the Ball, and the two most popular boys in school want to dance with him.”  Joe is phenomenal.

So instead of Rollins-Joe, we get Rollins vs Jordan to determine who gets to face Joe later in the evening.  As has been the gameplan thus far in this storyline, Jordan is impressive, but it’s never enough.  Following the match, Joe has his way with both.  In a post-commercial moment, Rollins and Ambrose are practically begging for a shot at Joe, but again, nobody paid to see that, so Jason Jordan tries to solve the audience’s woes yet again.  This time, Angle does some Teddy Long booking, and our main event for the evening will be a Six-Man Tag Match Playa!  The Shield and Jordan vs Joe and The Bar.

Later:  Dean Ambrose was injured during a Seth Rollins suicide dive to their opponents (for which he’s in Birmingham being evaluated by Dugas), creating a distraction and what appeared to be a quick audible on the parts of the other competitors as Sheamus landed an almost instantaneous Brogue Kick and getting the win.  Jason Jordan had damn near nothing to do with this match.  But this is his show……

To write Ambrose off television for a while, they have him take a hell of a beating while he’s getting evaluated by the trainer, getting his arm slammed in one of those roadie cases in the back.

The Stuff In The Middle:

• Finn Balor def. The Miztourage 2-on-1 via DQ.  You kind of had to expect this.  Axel got busted open in this one, but because he’s a professional, he kept going, not just for this match and the beat down of Balor, but for a second match.
• Hideo Itami debuts!!!!  Hideo Itami and Finn Balor def. The Miztourage via GTS.  Welcome to the show, Itami.  Now if you could please stay healthy.  K Thnx.

• Cedric Alexander def. Drew Gulak with the Lumbar Check.  This was a very good match between two guys with highly contrasting styles.  Gulak is a master mat technician.  Cedric Alexander is a high octane, flippy spot kind of guy.  The standing Spanish Fly is a thing of beauty.  Enzo was on commentary, but left when he got a mysterious message on his phone.  This created the distraction Alexander needed to get the win.  Alexander will now face Enzo Amore for the Cruiserweight Championship.
• Enzo apparently reacted to some DMs from Nia Jax, meeting her in the back following the match.  Gulak interrupted Enzo’s game yet again, apologizing for his failing.
• Asuka had a match……..you know what that means.  Absolution didn’t beat Alicia Fox in the back this week, so Asuka destroyed her in the ring.  Corey Graves and Michael Cole destroyed Booker T on commentary too.  I don’t know if Booker T is aware that it’s part of the show for Graves to be an ass to him.  He seems legitimately upset by some of the things Graves says to him.  Asuka Lock gets the tap.
• Woken Matt Hardy played chess and carried on a conversation with a goldfish that is the most recent vessel holding the spirit of Napoleon Bonaparte.  DELETE!  DELETE!  DELETE!  DELETE!  DELETE!  This is seriously the best way they could have kept the Sister Abigail thing going and end it simultaneously.
• Holy shit The Revival are back, and they defeated Slater and Rhyno with a Shatter Machine.  Little ring rust seemed apparent, but they’re still awesome.  Booker attempted to compare The Revival to Harlem Heat.  Corey Graves informed him that The Revival are way better than Harlem Heat.

Elias is my Hero

That’s all.  I just wanted to point that out.

• Elias trash talked Tom Brady in New England, so he might as well have slept with the wife of every man in the building.  Then he played a tribute to Roger Goodell.  He was then interrupted by each individual woman’s entrance for the face team in the six-woman tag match that was to follow.

The Women’s Revolution

Bayley, Sasha Banks and Mickie James vs Absolution

I’m generally not supportive of cramming a bunch of women into a single segment, but this one served a purpose.  After Absolution loses the match by DQ because the whole team was beating down on Bayley, Nia Jax came out and hit a double Samoan Drop on Mandi Rose and Sonya Deville.  Paige took out her leg, and as the beat down started up on Jax, the locker room cleared, and the brawl would eventually lure Stephanie McMahon to the ring to establish order.

After a monologue on the Women’s Revolution-Evolution, she made the one announcement that makes me want to head to Philadelphia in a few weeks.  Ladies and Gentlemen…..

The Women of WWE are getting their own Royal Rumble match.

I don’t think any of the women knew this was coming, as the level of surprise was far too genuine.  If you have a chance to go back and watch, Paige’s reaction is far too overwhelmed to have known ahead of time.

And the show ended with Stephanie pandering for her very own Yes! chant.  And guess what, Steph…..you 110% deserve this one.