12 Days of Christmas – A Raw Recap for 12/25/2017

The last Raw for the year comes to us from the All State Arena in Chicago, IL.

Nevermind that this is only one night.  It’s 12 Days of Christmas!

On the 12th Day of Christmas, WWE gave to me:

John Cena

John Cena is back to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!

On the 11th Day of Christmas, WWE gave to me:

WWE = Walk With Elias

If you thought WWE meant “World Wrestling Entertainment”, you’d be sorely mistaken.  It means Walk With Elias.  It’s always meant that.

He shows up during Cena’s segment to sing Chicago a Holiday song.  Elias doesn’t want to be interrupted and Chicago, being Chicago, decides to chant their favorite resident.  Elias mentions that CM Punk won’t be interrupting him, that’s for damn sure.  Cena thinks they should be able to praise Punk if they want.  It’s Christmas after all.

Elias does his usual thing and insults Chicago and Christmas.  Cena pleads with him to actually try to be nice.  It’s Christmas.  Elias actually takes it seriously and gives us a heartfelt Christmas song.  He invites Cena to sing the next verse.  Cena gets out one line and Elias punches him on the mouth.

They have a match.  Cena wins.  Commentary puts Elias over but it would have been more effective if Cena lost.  Still, Elias had a prominent spot on the broadcast.

On the 10th Day of Christmas, WWE gave to me:

Dean Ambrose Spends Holiday’s with his Loved Ones

WWE let us know that Dean is going to be on the shelf for up to 9 months.  I feel like he’ll be back in 3 but who knows.

Samoa Joe spins the news that he enabled Dean to spend the holidays and a bunch of quality time with his loved ones.  Nevermind he’s saying this right to Dean O’s wife.

He brags about how he’s systematically taken out the Shield and Jason Jordan with barely any effort.  He’s going to put Roman on the shelf tonight just like he put Dean on the shelf last week.

On the 10th Day of Christmas, WWE gave to me:

A Secret Santa Match

Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel, dressed in MizMass sweaters and filled with MizMass cheer, are super happy to announce they’re in a Secret Santa Match.  They won’t find out who their opponent is until they walk out.

Santa is basically giving the Miztourage a lump of coal as Braun Strowman shows up to Powerslam both men repeatedly.

On the 9th Day of Christmas, WWE gave to me:

Asuka enters the Royal Rumble

She interrupted a very long Alexa Bliss to kick her in the head and announce her Royal Rumble entry, not exactly in that order.

Nobody is ready for Asuka.

On the 8th Day of Christmas, WWE gave to me:

Bayley is buried

Krampus makes his first appearance on this list.

Commentary pretty much talked about Bayley the entire time in the match between Bayley, Sasha, and Mickie Vs. Absolution.  Constantly bringing up that Bayley doesn’t have the killer instinct while Bayley loses the match to Paige isn’t helping.

I hope Bayley has a better 2018 than 2017.

On the 7th Day of Christmas, WWE gave to me:

Forcing Slater to Toughen Up

After the loss last week, Slater and Rhyno were told to get their act together or perhaps be the victim of cuts.  Rhyno thought Angle clearly meant Heath, not him, and setup the match.  Heath thought it was a bad idea.  He just wants to hang out backstage and host his Game Night YouTube show.  After being slammed repeatedly, he tries to leave, much to Rhyno’s dismay.  He eventually eats a chokeslam and that’s all she wrote.

Rhyno tries to retaliate by landing a few good hits.  He tries for the Gore but gets caught in another Chokeslam to end the segment.

I don’t like it.

On the 6th Day of Christmas, WWE gave to me:

Woken Ambush

Bray gives us another promo, this time talking about how Sister Abigail hated Christmas and all the other holidays.  I was expecting it to be intercut with Woken Matt but thankfully they realize that’s not going to work week-after-week.  Bray said his peace and pulled up his lantern.  He’s here.

It seems like it’s been forever since I’ve seen Bray’s entrance.  It was refreshing.  Just as he blows out the lantern to bring the house lights up, he learns he’s not alone.  Matt attacks him to give him a piece of his own medicine.

As Bray retreats, Matt laughs and laughs and laughs.

On the 5th Day of Christmas, WWE gave to me:

Rusev Day

When Cena wished everyone a Merry Christmas earlier in the show, it broke out into dueling chants of “Merry Christmas” and “Rusev Day”.  Today of course is the Rusev Day of all Rusev Days.  It’s the day of Rusev’s birth.

Throughout the show, Rusev Day chants broke out whenever there was a slightest bit of silence.

Put those Blue straps on Ru-Ru and English.  Stat.

On the 4th Day of Christmas, WWE gave to me:

Samoa Joe Vs. Roman Reigns for the Intercontinental Championship

Kurt setup a Samoa Joe Vs. Roman Reigns Intercontinental Championship Match between Joe and Reigns.  Roman is less concerned by the match and more concerned about getting retaliation on Joe for hurting Dean.

Any match between Samoa Joe and a Samoan named Joe is going to be a good one.  I do like the irrational Roman Reigns sometimes.  As ridiculous as it was, I liked it when he attempted murder earlier this year.   That same Roman is here tonight.  After repeated warnings from referee John Cone, Roman get disqualified.

That doesn’t stop Roman, this time it’s personal.  He attacks Joe with the stairs

On the 3rd Day of Christmas, WWE gave to me:

Roman Reigns gets fined $5,000

It’s good to know that Alicia Fox and Roman Reigns get treated equally.  They both got fined for pushing referees.

No fines for attempted murder though.

On the 2nd Day of Christmas, WWE gave to me:

“You’re No Dean Ambrose”

Jason Jordan wants Samoa Joe.  Rollins wants Samoa Joe to retaliate for Ambrose.  Angle already promised Joe to Reigns.  Instead, he’s going to team up Rollins and Jordan to take on The Bar for the Tag Titles.  Jordan thinks he’s better than Dean.

Rollins is clearly not a fan of that opinion and makes it clear that Jordan is no Ambrose.

On the 1st Day of Christmas, WWE gave to me:

Jordan & Rollins Vs The Bar

I can’t bring myself to write about this match.  I hate Jason Jordan.  Maybe that’s by design, but I hate him.  He teamed up with Seth and now they’re a team that has to work together on future Raws.  Jason Jordan sealed the deal by pinning Cesaro for the titles.

I hope we get backstabbing Seth Rollins back sooner than later. I’m trying to be optimistic.  It could be good, but I doubt it.

Everything Else

I watched the Hulu cut this year so here’s what was cut out:

• Hideo Itami defeated The Brian Kendrick with a GTS in Chicago.  It might have been a slight botch.  Kendrick was sent to a local hospital for evaluation.  Or maybe that’s Kayfabe?  Who knows.
• Cedric Alexander, Mustafa Ali & Akira Tozawa def. WWE Cruiserweight Champion Enzo Amore, Drew Gulak & Ariya Daivari in a Six-Man Tag Team Miracle on 34th Street Fight.   I wish I could have seen this, actually.