Initiate Boomstick Protocol – A Raw Recap for 3/19/18

Tonight’s Raw comes to us from the American Airlines Center in Dallas, TX.

Arrested Development

Roman walks out of the crowd, hair as wet as ever, to confront Kurt Angle.  He’s still suspended.  Both Kurt and Roman awkwardly stumble over some terrible dialog and cheap pops until Roman demands that Brock makes an appearance and faces him tonight.

“US Marshalls” in knock-off Shield vests read Roman his rights and handcuff him.   Roman Reigns beats down federal agents while handcuffed.  That’s setting a great example for the kids, not to mention that Reigns would be in jail for at least a year for doing that.

It’s all so Brock can come out and assault a disadvantaged Roman hitting him with a chair and spamming German suplexes like me in any Street Fight match playing.  I can only pull off one move at a time in that game.

Medical staff strap Roman to a stretcher and Brock shows up to tip it over on the way to the back.

This whole thing seems weird to me and not quite right.  It seems like they are recycling a Braun/Roman storyline with diminishing returns.  This whole Brock not showing up on Raw storyline had me right up until Brock actually showed up this week.

Initiate Boomstick Protocol

I don’t think I need to recap this.  From the Dilapidated City & The Land of Obsolete Men to the Dome of Deletion & The Lake of Reincarnation, we got a world tour.

Ultimately, Bray was deleted but not without a cameo from Brother Nero, Señor Benjamin, and Skärsgard.  Matt hit a Twist of Fate to win.  He forces Bray into the Lake of Reincarnation and asks Señor Benjamin to search for his carcass.  He can’t be found.  Are we getting Husky Harris soon?

Everything Else

• John Cena was there to insult the Undertaker some more.  He doesn’t watch Raw, dude.  He didn’t know he was supposed to show up tonight.  Next week’s promo we be about how John left him 20 voicemail messages about Wrestlemania.  Kane was in the area and showed up to give John a chokeslam.  You know, for good measure.
• Alexa Bliss took on Asuka after doubling-down on her insults to Jax.  Even with the help of Mickie James, it wasn’t enough to put put Asuka away.  With the title on the line and a armbar later, Alexa retreated to the back only to be cutoff by an enraged Nia.
• Kurt Angle is making Braun choose a partner for his Tag Team Championship match at Mania.  The Bar comes out to talk about how you’ve got to eat, drive, and sleep room together to be a good champion.  Braun cuts them off to ask which one of them wants to “Get These Hands”.  Sheamus tricks Cesaro into taking the challenge.  Cesaro fairs pretty well until he tried a few of the power moves on his arsenal.  You just pick up that kind of beef.  Sheamus tried to distract Strowman but it only helped a bit.  Strowman caught a crossbody from Cesaro and turned it into the Running Powerslam for a win.
• The Revival take down Titus Worldwide with a Shatter Machine and announce their entry into the Andre Memorial Battle Royal.
• The Hall of Pain is entering the Hall of Fame.  Mark Henry is rounding out the 2018 Hall of Fame class.
• Absolution was scheduled against Sasha and Bayley.  Sasha came out to try to fix the problems they have.  Sahsa apologized but Bayley wasn’t buying it.  She thinks there was malice in the boss’ eyes.  Absolution interrupts to take care of her match.  Bayley eats a pin from Deville after a altercation between Sasha and Bayley.
• The Miz gave a shoutout to his two Wrestlemania competitors “Tyler Black” and “Prince Nevitt” and how they would go back to the bingo halls after losing to him at Wretlemania.  Miz and the Miztourage take on the Bálor Club.  Finn wins with a rollup on The Miz and gets a beatdown from the Miztourage.  Seth leaves commentary to help Bálor and hits a Curb Stomp on The Miz.
• They ran a Ronda Rousey promo package.  It was pretty good.  She showed up for the live audience during the Ultimate Deletion.  I think that was a good move.  After the Raw 25 debacle, you don’t want the live audience watching screens.
• Coach is as bad on commentary as always.