The Greatest Raw Go Home Show* – A Raw Recap for 4/23/18

*Not actually the greatest Raw.

Tonight’s Raw comes to us from St. Louis, MO.

Tonight’s Raw came to us from somewhere in St. Louis, Mo.

While a lot seemed to happen on this particular episode, it also seemed like nothing happened.  I think what’s happening here is the Greatest Royal Rumble is really just the Greatest House Show.  None of the storylines seem to matter and it seems like what we have on Friday is a Roadblock to Backlash.

The Sami and Kevin Show

Probably the most entertaining segment came from these two jokers.  I’m not sure why every wrestler wants to be a daytime talk show host but its a thing.   Sami was a real gem here.  They had Kurt Angle as their guest and Sami danced to his theme song, read off Kurt’s accomplishments while wearing old man reading glasses, and is just so effective at being annoying.

They get on Kurt’s nerves.  He reminds them that both he and Daniel Bryan will be in the GRR match and then puts them in a match with Braun and Lashley.

They get destroyed by Braun and Lashley.

Everything Else

• Brock Lesnar got to dance around in the ring a lot while Paul E. Dangerously hit all the usual bullet points and gloated about Lesnar’s Wrestlemania win.  Something about GRR and how Brock will easily win because he’s known to fit in a cage.  I believe the word “Brocktagon” was used.  Roman came out, apparently, but I must have been doing something else because I really don’t remember it.  But there’s pictures as proof.  I just want them to move on from this.  It’s all just become boring.

• Bobby Roode interrupted Elias before he could get a real song started.  Despite being Glorious, Elias got the better of Bobby with a rollup.  That’ll be the first of many SmackDown Shakeup stars losing on their first full week of Raw.
• The Deleters of Worlds defeated The Ascension.  The real story here is that Bray and Matt have a team name.  The Ascension aren’t bad here either.  It’s good to see them have a real match on TV.  Bray and Matt do have great chemistry.  I hope they don’t rush to break these two up anytime soon.
• Ziggler & McIntyre defeat Titus Worldwide.  These guys are definitely going to be dominant.  That Superkick/Alabama Slam combo and Claymore/Zigzag combos are great tag moves.  And for once, Ziggler’s record scratch thing makes sense.  The scratch interrupts Drew’s slightly tweaked theme to bring in his own.  Just like Bray and Matt, I hope they run with this a bit.
• Chad Gable defeated Jinder Mahal because of course he should have.  It looks like Jinder is taking his place back in the midcard.
• Baron Corbin attacked No Way Jose after refusing to fight him pointing out that any of the partiers could attack him during their match.
• Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel need a new leader.  They approach Seth wearing Rollins shirts suggesting that they become the new Shield.  Hard pass.  They throw up the Too Sweet while wearing OGBC shirts for Balor.  Hard pass.  What does that lead to?  Tag team match, playa!  Annnnnndddddd…Balor and Rollins defeat them soundly.  Seems like it’s back to Main Event for these two.
  • The most interesting thing happened offscreen with Bray Wyatt suggesting that Axel and his real-life brother take a dip in the Lake of Reincarnation.  That’s a move that Matt Hardy and this writer thinks is an excellent idea.
• Alexa Bliss, Mickie James & The Riott Squad defeat Nia Jax, Sasha Banks, Bayley, Natalya & Ember Moon via Disqualification.  This wasn’t a bad match but it was most definitely a “let’s let the women main event because they’re not going to Saudi Arabia” sort of thing.  Basically what you need to know is that Mickie James attacked Natalya, Ronda’s apparent BFF, and Rousey came out to throw down.  I was initially skeptical of Mickie being the first opponent for Ronda.  After that Eclipse sell last week, Mickie is going to make Ronda look like a murderer.
• Alexa premiered a pretty great anti-bullying PSA against Nia Jax.

That’s it!  Maybe next week Raw will actually matter.